Conflict in Marriage

So my wife and I decide to watch a video on improving your marriage. Sounds fun, right? Actually, my wife and I have a wonderful relationship with, ahem, perhaps a minor spat every once and again--we always find that she was right the whole time... ;)

Anyway, he had an interesting fact to share. Most problems a couple argues about don’t go away. In fact, in the most successful marriages less than 30% of the major problems are actually resolved. They just get rehashed over and over again; with both spouses blaming the other or thinking the other is somehow defective in their thinking (this is assuming there isn’t a problem such as abuse or addiction, etc). If one leaves the marriage and finds another, perhaps those exact issues aren’t a problem, but they find a bunch of new things to argue about.

Turns out that in successful relationships, both people spend the time to understand where the other is coming from, their dreams and ambitions, etc. Then they find ways to compromise where both are happy. They don't try to change the other (because they can't) but find ways to work with each other. It begins by caring enough to understand their partner first.