I was thinking the other day about 'perfect' people. You know the kind, always ready to help you whenever you need it, always the nicest people you know, never do anything wrong, never want to start a fight, always making others happy etc.
I have come to an unusual conclusion. I am not so sure that those 'perfect' people are actually as happy as they seem. Don't get me wrong, helping others is not a bad thing. But I get the feeling that centering your life too much on others can actually be frustrating to the nice person. I would assume that the 'perfect' person would, in the back of their mind, have some sort of motive behind the niceness. Is it that they have a great need to be liked, or is being nice their way of manipulating others to do what they want?
When I lived in Utah I was a saleperson for a couple of years, calling on small businesses. You know what the most frustrating thing was? Nobody would say 'NO'. They would all say, 'Come back later', 'I'll think about it' endlessly. Finally, after weeks and weeks of wasting my time I would just stop going by. Which is what they were hoping I would do. Why was that? I think that they were just trying to be nice. (BTW, if anybody reading this blog was one of those people, know that you weren't being nice. It sucked, to be quite honest). I love my religion (I'm Mormon) but sometimes I think we try to be a little too perfect, and are afraid to let our flaws show. So we go out of our way to appear perfect, thinking that others won't like us if they know our faults. BTW, did you know that a greater percentage of women in Utah are taking anti-depressants than any other state?
Also, the need to appear perfect is the cause of eating disorders.
But we can rationalize it in our mind, after all "Be ye therefore perfect..." Right? I think that it is working toward being perfect, not trying to appear perfect so everyone with think of you .... (Fill in the blank)
Sometimes I think of perfect people as "Teflon People.' They are so smooth that you can't stick to them. Someone who is a little rough are the velcro people, easy to stick to. Not that you have to show all of your faults all the time, but come on, what is the problem if you actually have a fault? I once heard Dr. Laura tell a story on the radio to a girl with an eating disorder. She told of going to the pound to pick up a new puppy. One puppy is perfect in every way. Stands at attention and obeys your every command. The second puppy has a droopy ear and kindof waddles to you to lick your hand. Which puppy would you take home?
I think the world would be a better place if everyone wasn't trying to appear perfect.
