Due to overwhelming demand (thanks Rachael!)

Here she is!

Our greatest strength/weakness

Think about your greatest strength. The one that really gets you ahead at work, home or wherever. The attribute you are truly proud of yourself for.

It is probably also your greatest weakness. Why is it that many who succeed at work have such poor family lives? Why do some have great relationships but keep under-performing at work? Think about the organized person at work. Everyone loves them, they meet all their goals, get raises etc. They are truly exceptional at organizing things and people. However, at home they fight with their family, who for some reason do not wish to be organized. They want someone "more fun." They don't want to be controlled.

Or look at another who excels at interpersonal relationships. Every one's good friend, laid back and always ready for an adventure, loves life. Everyone wants to be around them and never fights with anyone. Until, of course, they go to work and get laid off from every job they get for under-performing. "He was a really good guy, just never got anything done."

I think just being aware of this fact helps me be aware that a strength in one area of my life doesn't automatically translate into another role I have. In fact, different strengths need to be developed for different roles. If we try to "do what works" at work when we go home, for instance, may not be a good thing. Even if it is our greatest strength.

Maybe your map is wrong...

There is an old story told about a soldier in a war. He was studying his position on the map he was holding. His sergeant asked him if he had found their position on the map. The soldier said "Yes, sir! Except that there is supposed to be a hill over there, and there isn't one." The sergeant replied, "Your map is wrong."

We have an image in our mind how the world is supposed to be. We have developed this view over our entire lifetime. Sometimes we cling to that image even when confronted with evidence that our view is wrong. Many times we do things "because that is the way our parents did it" or a similar reason.

Most of the time having the wrong map in our head doesn't do very much harm. But when we are rigidly holding onto our view of the other people in our life, it can cause serious harm to our relationships. Many a therapist believes that the seeds of marital strife are sown by the expectations (maps) we have for our spouse. When they don't measure up to the expectations we have for them, we assume that they are flawed. Really, it is our map.

Faith vs. Fear

My parents have a sign in their home that reads something like this: "You cannot have faith and fear in your heart at the same time." Something struck me.

Faith and fear are almost exactly the same thing.

Both of them are a belief. The only difference is whether you believe good things are going to happen, or bad.

On Complaining

If complaining (aka venting) really made a person feel better about their situation, then the ones who complain the most should be the happiest, right?

Everyone has bad things happen to them. However, we CHOOSE how to respond. The more we choose to focus on the bad, the worse we put ourselves through.

When we have a negative outlook on life, or a family member, boss, etc. it is easy to find things to justify our complaints. Which leads me to think about myself right now....

Is this post one big complaint?